Category: Joke Board
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire long after
hypothermia has set in. The AAA is not an option. I will win.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I
watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it
(though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).....applies to
engineers mainly.
_______________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare
at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows
up, one of us will
say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with
all these
computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then
drink beer
and break wind as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take
care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get
as sick as I
do, so for you this isn't a problem.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store,
like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"cumin" or "tofu." For
all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any
circumstances, expect
me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a
euphemism. (F.Y.I.
guys, cumin is a spice and not a bodily function.)
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking
it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much,
once the repair
person gets here and has to put it back together.
___________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer
is always either sex, cars, or hockey. I have to make up something else
when you
ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come
visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to.
Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
And don't forget
to pick up something for my mother, too.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if
you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling
amorous
afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and
recommend it to
others.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were
wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or
without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just
go now?
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year
2005, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest......
like wandering
around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
______________________________________________
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand
Men.
LOL Brilliant!..
isnt that true though?
that's a good one.